Today was “one of those days.” Surgically induced menopause will do that to you, I suppose. Especially when your naturopathic doctor is adjusting your hormones.
I was crunchy with all three of my kids. Not my norm. I’ve apologized to all three of them, but still one relationship is feeling strained. I hate that. (Frown.)
I had a list of things I needed to do, but didn’t want to. The good news is that I crossed 9/10th of them off. Yay, me! (Ha.)
And, tonight we had church. I knew the teaching would be good, but I couldn’t stop yawning (hormones regulate already! Really.)
Geoff blessed me by running to the store after work, on the way to church, to pick up a bottle of B12 vitamin supplements for me. I had my first B12 shot yesterday…I’m still waiting to see if it’s helping. (Honestly, the yawns are beyond persistent, so I’m thinking it’s NOT helping. Sigh.)
When I told Geoff I wasn’t sure if I was up to church, he grabbed his Bible and said, “Let’s go! It’s going to be good.”
And, it was. Really good.
Great worship, great teaching. Our pastor just returned from ministering in Africa and had all kinds of stories to share.
Hearing how he arrived at his hotel to find they had no power brought back memories of our first night in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia.
Our guest house was pitch black and we were handed the tiniest one inch candle on a saucer so we could make our way upstairs. We were both in shock, but also pleasantly surprised that we actually made it alive to the guest house. The whole situation felt sketchy (or “sketch” as my teenagers say. Ha.)
We had never traveled to Africa before and while it has some similarities to China, Ethiopia is a unique country of itself.
Remembering Addis Ababa felt bittersweet. Our short time in ET was life changing…but then so have the past 5 years since we’ve returned home.
Life didn’t turn out the way we expected it to. (Does it ever?!?)
As I listened to my pastor talk, I realized I’ve got even more processing to do. (Yay. Insert sarcasm.) I still need to unpack that week in ET and all that has happened since. It’s time.
Grief doesn’t go away on it’s own…it just holds on (and grows stronger) until we are ready (and able) to accept it and press into it.
After the service ended, I bent down to pick up my Bible and journal. I looked up at Geoff, told him he was right, and thanked him. Going to church, no matter how many times I yawned or how down I felt, was exactly the thing I needed to do. Especially because I didn’t want to.
I’m rambling here. Guess that’s what happens at 12:19 am (officially the day-after-day-7-of-writing.) I was ready to turn in for the night. I just dismissed my reminder to “WRITE!” still on my phone, thinking I would just not write today. But, here I am, talking about who knows what to who knows who. (Grin.)
My advice from day 7? Those things you need to do? Do them.
Even if you don’t feel like it.
Even if you are extraordinarily tired.
Even if you can’t stop yawning.
You never know, it may be exactly the thing you need today.
Photo Credit: Amy Jo Ivey / Rain OR Shine Coffee House, Mt. Tabor, Portland, OR / April 2015